Breathe In. Breathe Out.

Today is August 1st. I can’t say that I am surprised. I know exactly where the time has gone. It has been spent doing things. Things like visiting friends in different places, knitting and dreaming up new patterns, conventions…in other words life.

Even with all the good that has been occurring there has been a shadow hanging about. There has been for a little while now. I’ve been actively avoiding looking at it. Afraid, that like The Nothing from the Neverending Story, it would consume every piece of me if I did anything.

Before It grew to large to handle, I adjusted my medication. For a spell it seemed to do the trick.  It didn’t bother me even though I could still feel this shadow clinging to bits of me.

Until it did.

It does.

It feels like I’ve been in a mental rut without any clear path to move forward. There were goals that I set out to achieve at the beginning of this year that have completely fallen off somewhere in the mire. And the pressure I put on MYSELF to get back on track is really surprising. I am my worst critic on all things. I think that’s human nature though.

Add anxiety to the mix and I pretty much want to sleep like my cats do… all day.

Which perpetuates the cycle.

So I’m going to try something. I’m going to try ‘rebooting’ me. I know. It sounds all woo. And maybe reboot isn’t quite the right word. It’s the term that Wil Wheaton used though and I am drawing my idea from him. 

Actually, I’m going to use his list almost verbatim.  Almost, because I don’t actually drink beer. I’ll have an occasional cider or a mixed drink but I don’t generally drink much alcohol so I’m changing beer to Coke. Because I do tend to drink a lot of that.

So my list is as follows –

  • Drink less Coke – Because this is just a good idea
  • Read more – I don’t understand why this has fallen into the mire. I really like reading
  • Write more – Because I actually want to
  • Listen to more Podcasts – This is another thing that fell into the mire
  • Eat better food – Goes with the drinking less Coke
  • Get better sleep – Getting a good nights sleep is key to so many things
  • Exercise more – Feeling better about my fitness levels is a good thing


Accountability is key for a lot of these, so if I happen to ask you to keep an eye on me so I don’t over do something or even help keep me accountable don’t be surprised.

Let’s see how this works out at the end of August.



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